Halloween Tradition

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

I've had a little tradition every year that just gets me into the spirit of all things spooky.  It started off with a little flick called Hocus Pocus... you know it's Halloween when I start dropping HP quotes.  In the past few years I've expanded my tradition to a evening (or whole day depending on the amount of time available,) with friends watching old horror flicks.  

We go through varying levels from the legitimately scary, in which I sit in a room with a sheet over my head for the majority of the movie (I'm a scary movie hider...the monster can't get you if you can't see it kind of thing,) to the ridiculously hilarious.  These flicks tend to be older more kitchy flicks that we've all seen a hundred times, so instead we can talk through the whole thing, making fun of characters, creating our own dialogue, and throwing copious amounts of popcorn at the screen.  Here are my picks for this year's fright-fest a-thon.

The Truly Scary...

The Conjuring
I haven't been this scared in a movie theater since The Ring.  Seriously, I think I kicked the person in front of me because I was literally flailing around out of fright.  And to top it off, this shit was GOOD.  Like a legitimately great movie.  If you haven't yet, watch this shiz.  

The Strangers
The scariest movies to me aren't the ones with ghosts or men in hockey masks chasing pubescent girls  up stairs (seriously, always up stairs.  As if there's an awesome exit up there that only idiot girls know...) The things that legitimately scare the bejesus out of me are the ones that go unexplained.  The strangers don't have a reason to terrorize Liv Tyler...they just did it on a whim.  In terrifying masks.  While Joanna Newsom plays in the background.  This. Movie. Is. Awesome......And terrifying.

The Awesome Old School Blockbusters...

Friday the 13th
Of all of the horror franchises of the 80's... Jason has to be my favorite.  He doesn't talk.  He is superhumanly strong, yet can be killed with the most random of objects.  He has more lives than 10 cats.  The man has been killed with a machete (at least three times,) axed in the head, dissolved by toxic waste, stabbed through the heart with a magic hell raising dagger, chained to the bottom of Crystal Lake and then strangled with the chain, electrocuted, had his head chopped up in a wood chipper and my favorite... burned up in the Earth 2's atmosphere after being kicked towards another PLANET.  The ridiculousness has no bounds. And I love it. Check out these rankings of the Ft13 movies in order...watch them all!

Scream
I loved loved loved these movies growing up.  (Except the third.  No one liked Scream 3, even when they killed Jenny McCarthy.  Ignore three.)  I love a movie that mocks it's own genre, while perpetuating each of the stereotypes... it's awesome, and scary, and obviously Wes Craven's crowning achievement.  

The Best of them all...

Hocus Pocus
Duh.  

:: 99 ::

Friday, October 25, 2013



* Rebecca's sexy Halloween ideas cracked me up.

* This was basically my friends at the haunted houses this year. So funny.

* I love this pumpkin SO much.

*Hahaha

* Glove & Boots has some tips for surviving monsters...

* This is going to join my bar cart...

*this tattoo is amazing.

* Hipster Game of Thrones iPhone skin?  I think I need you...

* Inner Monologue

♥ Links Loved ♥ 

* Things You Will Never Be Able to Forget

* 17 Things I've Learned So Far About Young Adulthood



shit i did when i wasn't blogging

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Some days there's a legitimate excuse for not blogging.  You're busy at work. You're out of town on vacation.  You break each of your fingers in a freakish breakdance-fight incident.

None of those things happened.  But they're really good excuses. (Especially break dance fighting.)

Honestly? I was having a really good time doing everything else.  It happens. In the meanwhile, here's a few things I did do...

1. Discovered SnapChat.  Proceeded to take awkward photos of friends and draw penises on them.  Exhibit A.... The rebuttal.  Yeah, I'm an adult.

2.  Had this awesome conversation on a road trip:

Chad: If you could design your life, what would you do?

me: Oh I'd probably major in graphic design open my own business...

Chad: That's lame.  I'd be the next Jay-Z... I'd be Gay-Z!

And that is why we're best friends.

3. Had a massive pumpkin carving party with friends.  Had said friends later defile my pumpkin with a sexually explicit drawing of Dracula doing something likely to be illegal in 5 states with the Wicked Witch of the West. (email for photos... i can't expose my grandmother to their depravity.)    

4. Spent at least 4 hours creating a piñata costume for my mother's halloween party.  Proceeded to chase her around the living room with a stick demanding that she give me candy.

5. Went to see Florida Georgia Line with the fam.  Took photos of my brother giving a passed out 20 year old a wet willie. 

6. Watched Gravity in IMAX 3D. Had the most intensely anxious 90 minutes of my life.  May have bit Chad's hand because I was so nervous.  Think I have PTSD from space.  (Also wore the coolest glasses ever.  See?)

7. Helped with the boys' garage sale. Found this gem.  Am awaiting the moment when after finishing up with a man friend I can throw confetti in his face, blow a party horn, and hand it to him.  You're welcome sir.  

8. Found the creepiest Halloween decorations ever while driving around with Anthony.  Yes. Those are baby pieces. Everywhere.  So naturally I stood in their yard and took photos.


I'd like to think that overall...I won at this week.  

Midcentury Record Players

Wednesday, October 16, 2013



I know I've gone on and on previously on the blog about my love for vinyl.  There's something so wonderful about holding a record in your hand, hearing the crackle as the needle hits... it's really an experience.  Most of the time I'll listen to records in my room on my trusty little Jensen as I work or read...but lately I can't stop myself from being drawn to beautiful vintage record players while I'm out.  It's getting to the point that I will have one in every room!  Here are a few that I've had my eye on...

 / from left to right / 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 56 / 7 / 8 /

:: 98 ::

Friday, October 11, 2013



* True.

* Awesome new meme alert. Brides throwing cats...

* The Roots, Miley, and Jimmy Fallon make a pretty incredible acapella We can't Stop video.


* While we're on the Miley train, this mashup of Wrecking Ball and Mumford & Sons is oddly excellent.

*these autumn essentials * this.

*yup

♥ Links Loved ♥



this is the reason they tell you not to eat before bed...

Tuesday, October 08, 2013

I just had a dream in which i had an amazing baby.

I had no recollection of actually giving birth to the baby, but somehow I knew that I'd had it.  Also, it was wrapped in tinfoil like an adorable Chipolte burrito.  Naturally I unwrapped it appropriately.

As I cleared the tinfoil from his tiny face, he opened his eyes & I realized that this baby is the shit that Gerber dreams of.  Cutest. Baby. Ever.

The fact that I am now the mother of a future teen heartthrob is beginning to set in, and I realize that I have literally nothing that a baby requires.  Crib? Nope. Diapers? For amateurs.  I ask my best bro Chad and my mother (who seem entirely unaware that i just whipped out a burrito baby,) to immediately take me to the store for the necessities.  They deny me, too enthralled with candy crush or some shit to appropriately address the situation.  So I do the next obvious step.  I start cutting up all of my dad's t-shirts to create makeshift diapers.

As I try to fit baby with it's makeshift Harley Davidson diaper the following happens...

:::

me: I'm really sorry about this whole t-shirt diaper baby. I'm trying here. MOM. Seriously quit it with the candy crush.  We need to get to Wal-Mart ASAP, baby is shitting everywhere!

Baby stands up and drops diaper.

baby: (looks down at himself) Holy shit, I have a huge dick.  Look mom!  It's never fitting in there.

me: What the fuuuuucccckk....

baby: Hung like a mothafucking horse. Hell yeah! high fives me like a tiny, shit covered, badass.


me: OMG this may be the greatest moment of my life. I have a talking, cursing, amazing baby.  Mom, seriously what the hell are you doing? This baby is like a tiny adorable Gilbert Godfried right now and you're playing a game! Sorry about the t-shirt diaper baby, your grandmother apparently hates us.


baby: It's fine, I'm fucking adorable in anything.

:::

And I wake up.  My first thought went something like shit, maybe that second bottle of wine wasn't the best idea... but my second, more enlightened thought was... OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO BREED AWESOMELY.  

Get in line gentlemen. Get in line.

P.S.  My brother just sent me this photo from a Panera bulletin board.  It's basically the universe affirming my crazy.

Image Credits : Burrito Baby 1

:: 97 ::

Friday, October 04, 2013



* Texts from animals always make me laugh. Mittens is hilarious.

* Kate Bee's banned book mugshots are pretty awesome.

*This is the sweetest Halloween gif ever.

* Speaking of Halloween, I am LOVING this costume idea...

* I am ecstatic for my favorite Chris Lilly SHH charachter (Ja'mie of course,) to get her own show. If you haven't watched Summer Heights High yet, you're seriously missing out y'all.

*Matt Cowan has super fun pop culture math prints... can you guess which actor this is?
♥ Links Loved ♥ 

* 25 Movies from the 80's That Every Child Should See

* Awesome Movies for People Who Love Mean Girls (OMG Saved is one of my favorite movies ever)

* 27 Things The a Twentysomething Woman Really Should Have By Now

* 21 Reasons Why "Hocus Pocus" Is The Best And Most Important Part of Halloween

* Mind Blowing Facts About Game of Thrones

* The Best Ways to Respond to a Wrong Number

a distraction from my government shutdown rage

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

I've been spending more time than is probably healthy swapping between news stories about the government shutdown and watching The West Wing (really to cleanse my palate of the rising disgust,) since midnight last night. As I clicked about this morning I found a little beacon of light, a quiz meme from my gal Kaelah's blog.  Nothing distracts me like a good list of questions y'all!  I decided to scrap my original post for the day and revel in the silliness instead....

1. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
I choose to wake myself up excellently every day, so when the first strains of The Lion Kings' Circle of Life begin, (this is my wake up alarm.) I occasionally pick up a bewildered Monty and hold him high to the sun. But most of the time, I hit snooze at least two times then stumble pants-less outside with the dogs for them to do their business.  Someday I'm going to give a mailman quite the show.
Just so you didn't think i was making that shit up...
2. What is the 3rd picture on your phone? Share it! 
My bestie Chadwick and I often say we're going to go out for breakfast after an epic sleepover, but never seem to actually get up and do it most of the time.  This picture was a day we finally did (at the iconic Aunt Martha's Pancake House.)  This pic was me trying to be all Elsie Larson adorable... and I'll admit, it's pretty cute.

3. What TV show are you most excited about returning this Fall?
I am a crazy person when it comes to fall TV, so there are SO many.  I'm pumped for Sons of Anarchy (though that shit has gotten cray in the first couple of episodes,) Homeland, The Mindy Project, New Girl, Parks & Rec, American Horror Story, and of course, every Southerner's favorite show, Duck Dynasty.  I'm also pretty excited to check out the new shows on Showtime and HBO like Hello Ladies, and Masters of Sex.  

4. What is something really popular that you secretly (or not so secretly) loathe?
I know it's a show that I of all people should LOVE... but I just can't get into Community.  I'm not sure it's up there to loathe status though.  Also I refuse to watch most reality competition shows, like Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, and X Factor.  They annoy the crap out of me.  

5. Do you have any pets? Tell us about them! Bonus points for pictures.
We've got Monty, my precious little nugget who is a beagle/walker mix, Vanna and Cami, both black labs who have been to doggie college and are epic duck hunters/ladies about town, and Cat, the cat.  She's super sassy a ferocious hunter of mice.  

6. If you could put together one outfit that represents you perfectly, what would it be?
Hmmm, this often changes slightly depending on the season, but for the fall you can most of the time find me in something plaid, with boots, jeans, a slouchy hat, and a light jacket.   I live for layers.  What will you find me in most often?  If I'm not out and about I am 100% in pajamas.  

7. What is your favorite adult beverage?
Pimm's Cups!  They are delicious, cucumber-y, and pretty to look at.  (I'll be posting a recipe on the blog this week!)  I'm also a big Pendleton's and Sprite kind of girl.  

8. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
Right now it's Pretty Little Liars.  My brother and I started watching it on Netflix on a whim and got totally hooked.  

9. What are 3 positive words to describe you?
Loving, Passionate, Sassy

10. What is your favorite Friday afternoon/evening activity?
It depends on if it's hunting season or not... really.  Off season I tend to grab dinner with my family at my dad's favorite saloon, Wacky Jacks, and we see a movie together.  On season, I'm lucky to see the men in my family until February.  

11. If you could live anywhere else in the world, where would it be?
Austin, TX.  That city has such a cool vibe, great live music, and some of the best roller derby in the US.  So much fun.