Rethinking pop culture crushes...

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

As y'all know, I've recently had the "opportunity" to become intimately more acquainted with my Netflix cue as I remain on the perpetual post graduate/damn this recession job hunt, which for me means essentially binge-watching every television show and movie from the past 30 years. I recently have gotten back into one of my favorite angsty teenage television dramas (and really, which shows weren't in the 90's?) My So Called Life. I started re-watching the show as a little trip down memory lane, and to revisit a little teenage crush. You all know who I'm talking about. Jordan Catalano, the dreamy eyed bad boy heartthrob with the terrible home life (and the connection to everything that is 100% going to get you grounded,) that we all inevitable fall for in some variation as a young and very stupid girl. While the show once again completely drew me in, I found that, as an older and somewhat wiser woman, Jordan Catalano was like, the worst boyfriend ever. Completely aloof, highly unmotivated, cliched dude in a band. Who wrote a love song about his car. He was constantly sending mixed messages, refusing to acknowledge his relationship with Angela anywhere outside of the boiler room make-out sessions, and really just a sucky guy in general. I bet he has a beer belly at the reunion.

This got me to thinking, do my other embarrassingly obsessive teenage dreams measure up to my more mature adult tastes? Let's see...

Benjamin, Gideon, and all of the other alphabetically bible-named brothers of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers 
These guys literally met some girls at a dance, get in a fight with every man present (including their fathers,) then kidnaps them and traps them in the mountains until the avalanche that they started melts away, all because their brother reads them a bible story.  (I know, I'm still oddly attracted to them too.)  It must be the beards.  But without the beards.... hide your children, hide your wives.

 Josh in Clueless
He crushed on, slept with, and ended up with his stepsister.  Really that should be enough. 

Sam from Clarissa Explains it All
Homeboy snuck into Clarissa's bedroom window every day and always seemed to be lurking outside only to pop up at the exact right moment.  Where was the neighborhood watch here?

Dawson from Dawson's Creek
See above.

AC Slater from Saved by the Bell
Literally always called Jessie 'Mama'...either he can't remember her name or has a serious Oepidus complex.

Eric from True Blood
Tricks you into ingesting his blood so that he can perpetually keep track of you, is unable to go to the beach with you and might EAT you if he gets hungry. Makes questionable hair decisions (that bob.) On the flip side... you'll perpetually look tan next to him and those abs...  Meow.

Clearly some things will never change (ahem, beard love.)  Do you ever look back on your teenage crushes with a twinge of embarassment? Do you still love Jordan Catalano? Tell me about them in comments! xoxo Fearsy




7 comments:

  1. First off, there is NOTHING wrong with Eric Northman. He is perfection, pale skin and all :)

    And as you know, I am still head over heels in love with my childhood crush - Justin Timberlake ;)

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    1. I had a distinct feeling you'd say that, and remember JT, regrettable hair as well. (Hello frosted blonde afro. :)

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  2. Don't even care. Slater is still my main man :)

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  3. I still have a crush on Eric! But I must say, his hair nowadays (shorter) is much better. Yum!

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  4. Oh my goodness, Eric shall always be a crush. And he looks wayyy better with the short hair.
    As for other crushes, luckily for me I watched Grease and Dirty Dancing and movies from the 60s so all of my crushes are ones I'd happy still run away with!!!!

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  5. I always preferred Pacey... but I don't think I want to go back and reacquaint myself with him. As for Clueless... yeah, that stepsister thing was always creepy, but I could ignore a lot for Paul Rudd! Yum!

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  6. Hilarious! I wanted to be Millie so bad as a kid :) I recently watched the movie again and...I'm confused. I'm still super attracted to the brothers (beard lovers unite!) but also felt super feminist! Bahahaha WTF?! This made me rethink all of my old crushes as well. Yours were awesome!

    PS: I had similar mixed feelings when re-watching You've Got Mail.

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